So my third knee surgery is complete. I would have to say it was the worst pain of life. At one point I seriously wanted to die because the pain was unbearable. After surgery was done, I stayed the night in the hospital so that I could manage my pain better. Oh man that was the exact opposite that had happened. After the leg epidural wore off, the intense throbbing and stabbing sensations in my knee increased to the point where I sobbed a cry that I have never heard myself do. My body was trying to compensate with this sudden trauma but couldn't withhold its intensity. My heart rate increased, my breaths grew fast, and all I remember is my pleading for God to help me. It was a desperation that was new to me, as I had never been in this amount of pain before. Panic struck my body and I had no control over what was going on. I begged the night nurse for relief, as the morphine shots weren't even touching the firey pain that was going on. Those shots only lasted 20 minutes before their effect wore off and I was back to square one. In the early morning hours I asked to be seen by a doctor as tears were streaming down my face. The nurse refused to call my surgeon and would not change my pain medication - the very ones that were not working. What set me off emotionally was when this nurse told me to 'just deal with it (the pain)' and to 'suck it up!' that is when I sobbed 'I need an ally! I need someone to believe me when I say how much pain I am in!' at that moment I went into a full blown panic attack. Here I was, in so much pain that it made natural child birth seem easy and I had no one to help me. I thought of dialing 911 - just to get someone's attention that I was flipping out and needed medical attention. How ironic is that? Here I am in a hospital room yet can't get proper care?!! Finally I asked for Loransipam - which is a medication to treat anxiety and panic attacks. I was shocked this uncompassionate nurse gave me what I asked for. After a double dose of that medicine, I did calm down. Too bad my pain was still there... I didn't sleep a wink that night for more than obvious reasons. Come 8 am when my surgeon came in and the ignorant nurse was long gone, I was so worn out that my lips just trembled. My doctor was very upset, more like outraged that this nurse was so incompetent that she misread his orders for my pain management plan. I was supposedto get 30 mg of extended release morphine tablets every 6 hours and 2 percocets every 3 hours. When he heard my ordeal, he grabbed my hand and apologized profusely. He promised that he would handle this nurse himself. Even the day shift nurses were in shock. I hope that bitch gets fired.
I was relieved to go home where I knew I was safe. Never in my wilds dreams did I think my worst fears would come out in a hospital room.
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