Just Venting

Just had someone tell me "to keep my chin up" after I told them (via text) that I was in a lot of pain. I want to tell them I can't always be cheery and happy go-lucky when I have pulsating pain going on. Feel kind of frustrated at this person who's seen me and know what I've been going through - and not even ask how they can help but just keeps telling me the same expression.... I know its not like me to feel this way and I know its the frustration of the pain. I'm not going to lie or put on a fake smile right now. I hurt. alot. and I hate feeling this way. Its a very alone feeling. I don't think a person should tell another to keep on smiling when they haven't been in your shoes. Just say'n, you know? All this person had go do is say was 'hey can I come by and water your gardens for you or help get prescriptions or what you need help with?!!' It's the little things that make all the difference. Hence why I appreciate my neighbors who are making dinners for us. Now *THAT* is what makes me smile!
I do appreciate and feel SO loved for those who have sent cards, flowers, goodies and well wishes - I don't want anyone to think I don't appreciate them! Those who have shown support - Oh I owe you!!

I'll get over it but at this moment just venting. Thanks for listening my dear friends. (sigh)

But Mom I *AM* a big girl!

Myla is absolutely adorable. She is convinced that after each meal, she has grown into a 'bigger girl!' awww She desperately wants to grow up despite my pleas to make her stay my baby girl! Today after eating breakfast, she stands up on the chair, and proclaims, "Look MOM! I'm bigger!!!" Her plate was clean from food as Myla's smile beamed with pride.

I LOVE being a Momma!

All it took was the love of one neighbor

Grateful how one person can really make a difference. One of our neighbors organized dinners to be brought to us for the next week and a half by other neighbors. Last night Teresa brought a very delicious lasagna dish and with fresh steamed broccoli from her garden. My heart is VERY touched with the compassion and generosity of those helping us out. Really its the simple things like that kind action that make all the difference in the world!! Thank you Teresa P. for showing me what compassion really means!!

I'm still in a lot of pain and on crutches. Making a good supper let alone shopping for groceries is a very difficult task right now. It is frustrating - I just want my life back. I will never take for granite what I never thought of before - the very act of walking, running, bending my knees, NO PAIN! Taking from this life lesson, I will take better care of my body. Life is a very precious thing and trust me, I will value it more coming out of the hell we've been through this past year and a half.

I feel bad for my husband Josh, who's enduring chronic kidney stones and coming out of a back surgery this past Spring AND dealing with a wife who's had 3 knee surgeries in a year plus being an amazing father to our babies! Not only is he working his butt off but also gearing back to finish his last year in school. I feel sometimes he gets left out of all the attention. I know how stressed it can be for him. Just trying to find ways to ease that for him, as its equally as frustrating for me as well.